Living with OCD

   OCD Mistypes

   Hello all! Let’s start with the basics: You’ve probably known at least 5 people over the course of your life (or more!) who’ve said, “I definitely have OCD because I love to have things organized”, or “I hate germs and love to have a clean house so I must be OCD!” Although these statements can be cognizant of OCD, these are not the only or the most common symptoms of OCD.

   What is OCD?

    OCD stands for obsessive-compulsive disorder. OCD is a mental disorder in which people have unwanted thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), and behaviors that drive them to do something repeatedly (compulsions). Unfortunately, mental health care professionals aren’t yet sure what causes OCD. They have found links between family history, head injuries, infections, and other abnormal functions of the brain. Many times, OCD develops in childhood and can easily be recognized by parents, teachers, or friends, however, it can develop at any point in time.

   Classic Symptoms

    With OCD, people have repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that can cause anxiety or depression. These actions and thought patterns are called obsessions. Common examples of obsessions are fear of germs, need for excessive routine, or dreading “forbidden” thoughts such as sex, religion or harm to oneself or others.

    While some people are plagued with obsessions, some people may also deal with compulsions, repeated behaviors in response to their obsessions. Some common examples of obsessions include checking and rechecking actions (locking the door, closing the garage, turning lights off), counting objects, repeating phrases or words silently, or praying obsessively.

   It’s important to remember that not all obsessive-compulsive disorders look the same. Not every person suffering from this disorder has all of the symptoms above. However, people with OCD are characteristically not able control their thoughts or behaviors, do not get pleasure out of these thoughts or behavioral patterns, and can spend up to an hour or more on these thoughts or behaviors. There are also some people with this disorder who suffer from a tic such as eye blinking, shoulder shrugging or head jerking in addition to the obsessions and compulsions.

   My story with OCD

   I recently got diagnosed with OCD by my therapist and psychiatrist during a routine therapy appointment, however, I’ve suffered unknowingly from this disorder since I was in middle school. I’ve been on anxiety medications for a few years now, and always assumed that my obsessions and compulsions were an effect of my generalized anxiety disorder. After being diagnosed, I was in denial. I did not want to be classified as someone who was “obsessed with germs” or “obsessed with being organized” because that’s how society has portrayed OCD for many years.

   In order to understand the type of OCD I suffer from, I had to do research. I don’t particularly fear germs and I’m certainly not organized. The jury (of medical professionals) are still out on the total amount of types of obsessive-compulsive disorders, but many agree that there are around 7 main types: checking, contamination, mental contamination, hoarding, ruminations, intrusive thoughts, and orderliness. Many people have symptoms of one or more of these categories, which makes OCD treatment difficult and unique to each person. Personally, my symptoms are referred to as pure. My obsessions and compulsions are usually invisible to others who are around me and take place mostly in my mind, hence the reason I didn’t get diagnosed for over 15 years. The 2 symptoms I suffer from are checking and intrusive thoughts. Depending on the day or even the hour, my symptoms change based on which obsession or compulsion is particularly bothersome.

    With checking, I feel the need to check my doors, windows, and garage are shut and locked. Many times, I check these once and feel safe and my mind can be at easy. However, I developed a very strong obsession with the garage door for a short period of time. I would leave for work in the morning, watch the garage door close, get about 10 minutes from home, and become convinced I had left it open. It became a daily struggle, so much so that I would drive all the way back to be sure it was shut. Newsflash: It was shut every single time. I’ve had other checking obsessions that have caused daily grief such as the hair straightener, the oven, and the toaster. I’ve never had a home break in or a house fire, but I become fixated on preventing these disasters, which leads to the obsessions and compulsions of checking these objects.

    My other symptom, intrusive thoughts, is the symptom that is considered pure. I have dealt with intrusive thoughts for as long as I can remember so much so that I didn’t realize that this thought pattern was abnormal. The best way to describe this to others is constantly having flashbacks and negative thoughts. Many times, I’ll have memories of bad things that have happened to me on repeat in my mind: the death of grandma, the failed college course, or the murder of an ex-boyfriend. These certainly aren’t the only intrusive thoughts, but a mere example. These thoughts will plague me at all hours of the day no matter what I’m doing. Sometimes, I’ll even wake in the night to these thoughts running through my mind.

    When I’m not dealing with the flashbacks of past trauma, I’ll have many negative thoughts running through my mind. Things such as people disliking/judging me, potential car wrecks, the death of loved ones who are still alive plague my everyday life. These abnormal thoughts are much harder to deal with because they are things that could, but have not happened yet to my loved ones or myself. When these thoughts start, I begin a cycle of obsession where I have to convince myself that these are things outside of my control, despite the fact that my mind won’t let them go. I would liken it to having a song stuck in your head; annoying, intrusive, and seemingly random.

   Managing OCD

   Although these is no cure for obsessive-compulsive disorder, there are many treatments available to make managing the symptoms easier for you and your loved ones. The most effective treatments for OCD include cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure and response prevention, and medications.

   Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best known treatment for OCD and its ever present symptoms. CBT is a goal-oriented approach therapy focused on identifying thought processes, recognizing emotions and belief systems, and reshaping negative thinking. CBT is typically a short-term therapy approach lasting anywhere from 5-25 sessions. The length varies on factors such as the type of OCD, how long the symptoms have been presented, how much stress one is under, and the severity of the symptoms.

   Exposure and response prevention can be done as part of CBT or independently. ERP is done with the intention of exposing oneself to thoughts, images, and objects that make one anxious or cause obsessions. A therapist will guide a patient through an event or idea that could cause triggers to help the patient better prevent a reaction. ERP is best utilized with CBT for people with OCD because obsessions and compulsions can cause one another.

   Medication is a widely used treatment for many mental health disorders, OCD included. The main drug treatment used to lessen symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are a type of drug called a Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor also known as an SRI. SRI’s are typically used as an anti-depressant, but can also be uses to treat the symptoms of OCD. Because OCD can cause depression, the main medication and dosage can be used to treat both. There are many different forms of SRI’s but the more common types include Zoloft, Paxil, and Prozac. Many people will experience side effects of anti-depressants, however, the severity of the side effects vary between people. Any concerns about side effects should always be addressed between the patient and the doctor.

   My Management

   Over the past few months, I’ve adapted a few different treatments and strategies to keep my OCD symptoms under control. Although I was already doing therapy for my generalized anxiety disorder, I began doing cognitive behavioral therapy with my same therapist. I’m not yet finished with my sessions, however, it has been incredibly helpful in managing my intrusive thoughts. Remember- we cannot control our thought patterns, but we can control how we react to them. Other strategies I use include mindfulness, writing, and exercising. These things do not treat my OCD, however, it allows my brain to have full focus on an activity which decreases the activity of my intrusive thoughts.

   In addition to my CBT and regular therapy, I’m also on medication for my anxiety. I’ve seen benefits from my anxiety medication help my OCD symptoms. This was definitely something that was a trial and error process with my primary care physician. I previously tried both Paxil and Prozac which just weren’t a fit for me. I never got away from the side effects of those 2 (nausea with one, headaches from the other) and it just wasn’t worth the little benefit I was receiving.

   Outlook

    There is hope for people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. It can be very scary to get a diagnoses or read about OCD and know that it is something that plagues your everyday life. I was absolutely terrified when I got diagnosed because of the rumors I had heard from others. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it certainly is not discussed as openly. There is no shame in getting help for mental health. Below, I have provided some wonderful resources that can help inform you of all things OCD- symptoms, treatments, studies, and therapists near you.

Do you suffer from OCD or know someone who does? You’re not alone. Leave a comment below and let’s end the stigma!

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